So yeah, in my last blog post, I talked about the previous episode of the Amazing Race. I'll be doing that from now on, and on Friday mornings, expect my update on Hell's Kitchen.
So here's who we have being told to f*ck off by Gordon Ramsey in Series 5:
Andrea "Keystone" Heinly -- Age 30 -- Reading, PA
Ben "Look At My Beard" Walanka -- Age 26 -- Chicago
Carol "Down South" Scott -- Age 30 -- Knoxville, TN
Coi "I'm too cool for a last name" -- Age 22 -- Austin, TX
Colleen "Ass-Kisser" Cleek -- Age 41 -- Papillion, NE
Danny "I'm Too Good" Veltri -- Age 23 -- Edgewater, FL
Giovanni "Italiano" Filipponi -- Age 37 -- Destin, FL
J "Letters Are Fun" Maxwell -- Age 32 -- Clifton Park, NY
LA "Not From LA" (real name Alicia) -- Age 23 -- Las Vegas
Lacey "Cheese and Whine" D'Angelo -- Age 24 -- Charlotte
Paula "idk" Dasilva -- Age 28 -- Coconut Creek, FL
Robert "I'm Going For The Peter Griffin Look and Not In A Good Way" Hesse -- Age 29 -- Quogue, NY
Seth "I Love To Be Cocky" Levine -- Age 27 -- New York City
Already gone as we entered episode #504 are:
Wil "Where Does The Sausage Go?" Kocol -- Age 27 -- Elgin, IL -- Eliminated in #501
Ji-Hyun Cha (got nothing bad to say) -- Age 27 -- Palisades Park, NJ -- Left due to injury in #502 (ankle)
"Sorry" Charlie McKay -- Age 24 -- Las Vegas -- Eliminated in #503
In case you haven't been watching, the contestants are divided into same-sex teams at the start.
All right, so after Charlie's exit, Seth (who was nominated in both the men's service losses #501 and #503) is prancing around the dorm saying how he's still in. Yeah, you do that for a while and people will begin to hate you. Oh wait, THEY ALREADY DO!!! Then Robert calmed everyone down with a pretty funny impression of Ramsay. Robert is looking to be my dark horse favorite I'll look for. He hasn't really made any glaring mistakes yet, although the preview for #505 next week says he will get yelled at. So we shall see.
A new day comes and finally there is no rude awakening for the contestants (like there was in #503 or #504). But they are up pretty early, and for good reason: It's time for the obligatory "let's serve breakfast to kids event"; in this case, some high schoolers from some Southern Cal place. The women served the cheerleaders while the men served the football players. All told, the service went relatively well, with the women finishing their service first in our 2nd really close battle of the season (after the dinner service in #502), and hence (finally) winning a challenge.
Actually, we all won from this challenge, as the girls got to go to a Beverly Hills hotel and lounge around in their bikinis. Carol, Paula, Andrea, Coi, you girls are really easy on the eyes. ;) Likewise, thanks to Fox for not showing much of Lacey and insiting LA keep her shirt on. >_>
Meanwhile, the men were punished, although not as bad as how the girls have been punished so far in my honest opinion. Seriously, they made the girls carry out some heavy beef in #503, that was evil. Anyways, the men had to clean up the entire restaurant AND prep both kitchens for dinner service that was, oh by the way, THE SAME NIGHT.
But before punishment, Danny and Ben had a fun little argument about each other's cooking abilities, to which Ben gave us our quote of the series.
So we ended up going into dinner service, which I think was affected greatly by having it the same night as the reward/punishment challenge. Both teams, as you shall see, completely were off-track all night, and I honestly think it was because the girls were relaxing all day and the guys were cleaning all day. But I'm not going to excuse their pitiful performance for that. Let's count the many ways that the two teams failed:
- Coi could not cook spaghetti to order to save her life.
- J served a butt of lettuce in a caesar salad. You just don't do that, J, and he knew it.
- Seth, continuing his ineptitude, wiped off the counter with a dirty rag.
- Colleen, continuing her ineptitude, made too many beef wellingtons.
- The tomato butter sauce was not made for the girls. That was supposed to be done by the guys as part of their punishment. Even when it was ordered to be made, Ben screwed it up before another guy (I forgot who made the 2nd batch) made it better.
- Appetizers and entrees were being returned left and right.
And those nominees were Lacey and Colleen (again) for the girls and Seth and Ben for the guys. Ok, I'm going to give a mulligan to Lacey in this nomination, even though I hate that bitch; Coi was planning to nominate herself and I don't think Lacey really made many mistakes in this challenge, so let Coi go and give herself a wakeup call. Also, J made a more serious error than Ben did in this service, but I'll let that go. Besides, we all knew that it was gonna be between Seth and Colleen for this elimination.
And it ended up being Seth eliminated in an "it's about god damn time" moment. DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE ASS ON YOUR WAY OUT, ASSHOLE!
As a final twist, Ramsay moved Lacey over to the guys' team, breaking the gender divide pretty early. But we all know she has no chance: the favorites seem to be Andrea, Paula, and Robert at this point. We shall see how it continues to develop.
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