First bracket impressions.

Feel free to disagree. *Click on the picture to look at the full bracket, i haven't figured out how to make it smaller yet*

Vickie got some splainin to do. So do I.

RAW RESULTS
3/9/09 -- Jacksonville (FL) Veterans Memorial Arena

6-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH
Rey Mysterio, Finlay, Christian def World Tag Team Champions The Miz/John Morrison and Kane
Mysterio pins Morrison, 619 combination

SINGLES MATCH
Kofi Kingston def Chris Jericho to earn a spot in the Money In The Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 25
Pinfall, Jericho distracted by Ric Flair appearance

NON-TITLE DIVAS MATCH
WWE Divas Champion Maryse def WWE Women's Champion Melina
Pinfall

SINGLES MATCH
John Bradshaw Layfield def CM Punk to become the NEW WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION
Pinfall, Clothesline from Hell after JBL ranked CM Punk's eyes

2 VS 1 HANDICAP MATCH
Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase def WWE Champion Triple H
Forfeit, Triple H did not show

STORYLINE DEVELOPMENTS
* Undertaker appeared on Raw and gave a great shoot to HBK. Taker's in-ring ability may have diminished in recent years as he grows older, but his shoots the past few weeks have been great in promoting this match.
* The reason Triple H didn't show in Jacksonville is because he tried a little bit of breaking and entering fun with a sledgehammer "in St Louis", where Randy Orton was interviewed in his "home" (it was actually done in Florida according to WrestleZone). After a few minutes of throwing Randy Orton out a window and breaking other IKEA-made things, the "police" showed up and HHH was "arrested", as Randy Orton was held back to avoid fighting Hunter further.
* And now for a moment I'm ashamed of: John Cena made me laugh last night. During Contract Signing II: Electric Boogaloo between Show and Edge, Cena got entered in the WHC match at WM25, making it a triple threat. As it turns out, Cena got this entry because of what he said to make Vickie cry at FNSD last Friday: Cena had some footage to show from his hometown of Boston, where Raw was last week. It revealed that Big Show and Vickie had been having an affair behind Edge's back. To which Cena replied: "Vickie, you got some 'splainin to do!", using Ricky Ricardo's voice from I Love Lucy. I am so ashamed of laughing at that. Long story short, it's Cena in a title triple threat for the 2nd straight year, I have no honor left, and I hope that Edge gets the triple threat win in Houston (though we all know what's going to happen).

RAW GRADE: [ C ]

ECW RESULTS
Taped 3/9/09, Aired 3/10/09
Jacksonville (FL) Veterans Memorial Arena

SINGLES MATCH
WWE Tag Team Champion Primo def World Tag Team Champion The Miz
Pinfall, Backstabber
Bonus: Primo and Carlito have a chance to become undisputed tag champs Friday on FNSD (8pm ET/PT, MyNetwork TV HD)

SINGLES MATCH
Tyson Kidd def DJ Gabriel
Pinfall, springboard elbow
Kidd: 4-0 in WWE competition

16-MAN BATTLE ROYAL
Christian wins battle royal to earn a spot in the Money In The Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 25
Competitors: Shad Gaspard, JTG, Vladimir Kozlov, William Regal, The Great Khali, Chavo Guerrero, Paul Burchill, Ricky Ortiz, Kung Fu Naki, Jimmy Wang Yang, Goldust, Charlie Haas, Dolph Ziggler, Tommy Dreamer, R-Truth

ECW GRADE: [ B- ]

WRESTLEMANIA 25 CARD AFTER ECW

SINGLES MATCH
WWE Champion Triple H defends vs Randy Orton

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
World Heavyweight Champion Edge defends vs The Big Show and John Cena

SINGLES MATCH
The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels

8-MAN MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
Winner earns right to challenge either World Champion or WWE Champion any time before WrestleMania XXVI
CM Punk vs Kane vs Mark Henry vs MVP vs WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin vs Kofi Kingston vs Christian vs TBD

25-DIVA BATTLE ROYAL
Competitors TBD, advertised as tri-branded with guest divas from WWE history

In Soviet Russia, U-Turn Forks You!

So we discovered in Race #1404 that one team isn't as innocent as they appear. And yet no one can discover that. How you ask? Well....

The first step in this leg was to get to Siberia and find out what destination was on the back of the 10-ruble note, which was some sort of dam. The dirty play started early, as the cheerleaders (Jaime and Cara) used an accidental taxi-to-taxi call to dupe the midgets (Mark and Michael) into thinking they were really agents at Lufthansa. It ended up all being in good fun, as the midgets actually got to Krasnoyarsk first, along with Kisha/Jen and Christie/Jodi. Meanwhile, the trickster cheerleaders ended up missing a Moscow connection along with the other teams.

But there was a bunchup potential at the dam as the three leaders had to wait for the dam to open. The other teams, however, were far behind, allowing the three leaders to get to the detour, a key factor in this leg. Their choice: stack a tall pile of firewood and hope you don't knock down the stacks, or build some shutters and take them to a marked house. All three teams tried to go on the stacking route, and while the female teams stacked well, the midgets' stack came tumbling down, causing them to switch tasks. Meanwhile, the black sisters finished the stacking first, leading them to the route marker where a new twist awaited: the BLIND U-turn.

Those of you who are new to the game, the U-turn, of which there are only 2 in the race, allowed any team to force any other team to backtrack and complete the other detour option. However, this time, with the blind U-turn, the team choosing to force the backtrack could remain secret whereas before the team had to declare that they did it. Seeing as how no one had arrived from the 2nd flight, both female teams passed on this opportunity and went to the road block.

Meanwhile, as the midgets couldn't find the house they were to deliver shutters to, the other five teams arrived and all of them tried to stack. 3 teams failed in their stacking mission: hottie Amanda and jock Kris, the cheerleaders, and the gays Mel and Mike. The cheerleaders stayed strong with deaf kid Luke and Margie and the Asians Tammy and Victor, while the hottie/jock and the gays went to shut themselves in, so to speak.

With their successful stack, Margie and Luke hit the blind u-turn point in 3rd and decided to do the evil deed: they pulled the u-turn on Amanda and Kris, quoting that they wanted to keep Jaime and Cara in the race. Apparently they didn't hear that Lufthansa was suing the cheerleaders (kidding). Anyways, this is a move that no one would expect from them in retrospect, which could really play to Luke and Margie's advantage if more blind u-turns/yields pop up later in the race.

Unbeknownst of their fate, the daters joined the gays and the midgets in trying to build the shutters and find the house. After what seemed like hours searching for the house, they finally found it, and the male teams quickly assembled their shutters, putting the daters in last place behind the teams who had finished their log stacking.

And this was ALL before they were forced to turn back to wood stacking, holding their belief that the blacks had u-turned them and that the actual perpetrators, Luke and Margie, probably felt bad.

Those perpetrators had long been held up at the Roadblock, which is something I NEED TO DO when I visit Siberia. They had to complete a 3-mile bobsled course in less than 4 minutes while looking for seven letters on the route. After that, they had to unscramble those letters to spell the name "Chekhov", advertised as a Russian playwright. I would've gone with another way to spell a Star Trek officer, but no matter.

Anyways, Kisha, after going twice to spot all seven letters, struggled along with Christie to spell the name. They eventually got it pretty close to each other, leading to a virtual footrace to the pit stop at some musical comedy theater. Finding the wrong theater entrance, the blacks fell to 2nd, allowing the flight attendants to win the leg and take home some motorcycles.

Luke, however, (DESERVEDLY) struggled coming up with the name at the road block as the Asians snuck ahead to grab 3rd. He eventually made it, but seeing him emotionally struggle was satisfaction for me in their u-turn move.

Despite his struggles, he and Margie comfortably finished in a transfer spot, as the U-turn was too much for Kris and Amanda to overcome. I thought it might be a non-elimination point, but Amanda and Kris, as it was revealed, are now out.

So now we have all four couples out of the race in the first 4 legs. Two aren't surprising (Brad/Victoria and Linda/Steve) but two very much are (Amanda/Kris and Preston/Jennifer). And all 3 female teams are still in the race, a combination that has never won the race. Could we be looking at history this series?

Finishing Order for Leg 4:
1. Christie/Jodi (motorcycles)
2. Kisha/Jen
3. Tammy/Victor
4. Margie/Luke
5. Jaime/Cara
6. Mel/Mike
7. Mark/Michael
8. Amanda/Kris (eliminated)

Don't hide things.

Also known as your lesson from HK #505, where we visited the cuisine and culture of Japan, a new dish found its way into Ramsay's heart, and another idiot was (deservedly) sent packing.

We start with a visit to an Asian supermarket in Lipstick City, as Scott Ferrall, of Sirius-XM Howard 101 fame, calls it, for the obligatory "Cook Something Good and Cheap" challenge! The challenge was to cook something "Asian Fusion" (whatever that is) with 25 minutes to shop and $100 to spend. Not much for something that has to impress the editor of a food website. They then had an hour to cook it. So far, the challenges have been extremely competitive and this challenge was no exception, with Ramsay and Tanya Steel (the editor in question) choosing 2 red dishes vs. 1 blue dish. In addition, Carol's dish, some tuna sushi thing, was recommended by Ramsay as one of the best things he's ever tasted on HK, going so far as to put it on the menu for the next night's service. So for a 2nd straight reward, the girls got to have a Japanese fun day! But we'll get back to that later.

Let's talk about the main theme: the rebirth of Lacey, who, as you remember, got moved to the blue boys in #504. Throughout the challenge, the boys did not acknowledge her at all, preferably wanting her gone. But after the challenge and through the punishment, which was to make fortune cookies and origami, Lacey started to gain respect by teaching the guys how to make origami. Ok, so it took a non-food thing for the guys to respect Lacey, but she eventually became one of the few pluses of the next night's service. Keep that in mind.

Back to the red girls, who got a hilarious treat: wrestling in large sumo suits. The funny part was who demonstrated the suits at first: Ramsey and Jean Phillipe, who makes a rare appearance in a reward. Then they all dog-piled on each other and that made me happy. Of course, they made themselves happy by getting drunk on sake.

But all the happiness would end with the next night's service, which featured one table of note: a table of sumo wrestlers. They order everything on the menu, continuing Fox's proud tradition of stereotyping Asians (Family Guy, American Dad, Banzai, etc.).

Anyways, it was a total disaster of a service yet again. Giovanni and LA put out good appetizers and that was key as you'll find out. Lacey, continuing her renaissance, developed into a leader this service, trying to use her words to keep things moving in the blue kitchen. Call it motivation to beat Red if you want, but Lacey definitely was a comeback player this episode and maybe Ramsay sees potential in her yet.

Pretty much everyone else screwed up, though. J undercooked his beef wellingtons with the wrong fan setting, but in my mind, that wasn't the biggest error. Both Robert and Andrea were wasting/hiding food, which is a BIG NO-NO in Chef Ramsay's kitchen. Robert, in particular, was derided by the use of the name "Bobby" by Ramsay, which made Robert ignore him. You can imagine the downward spiral from there. After the service, Robert and Ramsey met privately, and Robert explained that he and his dad, named Bobby, didn't have a good relationship, thereby explaining the irritation over "Bobby". Surprisingly, Ramsay understood and said he would respect Robert's wishes.

So for the 2nd straight episode, we had a double knockout on the kitchen. But at least we had a Best of Worst for the first time this season: Giovanni and LA for their respective teams. They nominated J and Andrea, respectively, which I think were the type of choices that should've been made last week. I think both nominees have potential to go all the way but both needed swift kicks in the ass by Ramsay.

And that's exactly what happened, as Ramsay asserted his power for the first time this season and kicked out Colleen (YAY!) instead, keeping J and Andrea in the game, and in my mind deservedly so.

Btw, Fox is a bit full of shit for starting Hell's Kitchen at 9:05 due to American Midol overrun. I'm sure 65-70% of the Hell's Kitchen audience couldn't care less who was in American Idol, and I'm sure DVR users are probably pissed this morning. At least the episodes are on-demand.

Red and White is for the Polish version of Race.

My thoughts on Race #1403:

So for the 2nd straight episode of Race, it was all about the Asians. But unlike the last episode, they were the dumbest and unluckiest people on the face of the earth, and got very lucky to stay in the race.

First off, we found out that they had a 100-minute lead (!) at the start of this leg from their dominating performance in #1402. But it went all downhill from there, as they jumped on a flight for Romania all by themselves. Only problem is: Lufthansa mechanics obviously can't do shit. So they get to join the rest of the lead teams on the next flight out of Munich to Bucharest. One team, however, was not on that flight. We'll come back to that later.

Anyways, the Asians wind up getting the first taxi out of there but they can't quite find the roadblock: a gymnastics challenge. Guess who got out of that challenge first. THAT'S RIGHT: Mel and Mike, who I would guess watch gymnastics furiously at the Olympics. They move on to the train station to take a trip to Transylvania.

Meanwhile, the Asians end up getting into the gymnastics room in 8th place. Tammy chose to do it and struggled mightily, as the stress was getting to her. It didn't help that Victor was barking orders the entire time. This would become a theme of this episode. They got to the train station still in 8th, but they got lucky as an early morning train bunched up the 8 teams together. Yes, I know there are 9 teams in the race at this point; keep reading.

The next route marker in Transylvania was a detour. Choice #1 made you load a horse cart with some gypsy belongings, and trying to avoid Borat in the process. Choice #2 made you drag a coffin off a hill and open it to reveal some frames you drive a stake into. Find a flag and you win.

The gays and the couple (Amanda/Kris) went to the gypsies, cause, after all, the gays would probably fit right in. The gypsies' random musical instruments and stuff they made the teams tow made me giggle unstoppably.

The Asians, among other teams, went for the coffins, but they made a crucial error as they went for white and red markers on a trail up a mountainside instead for the yellow and red arrows that you should always look for. Believing in his own mind, Victor went up this wrong path for hours despite Tammy's pleas to turn around. The big brother/little sister complex was clearly in play here and after self-defeating himself, Victor FINALLY turned around and got through the challenge, despite misplacing the key for a while.

Meanwhile, the gypsy move (the midgets and the blacks also chose this route; everyone else went for the coffins) turned out to be the correct detour choice in this leg; the 4 teams that went for the gypsies all finished in the top 5, including Mel and Mike, who won the leg and get to go to Costa Rica, and Amanda and Kris, who suffered a minor delay in misplacing their fanny pack with their passports and stuff. This probably cost them the win in this leg cause they can outrace the gays for sure. A sobbing Victor and Tammy stepped on the mat in 8th place, as the Asians hope they can rework their relationship.

Where was the 9th team, you ask? Committing 2 cardinal sins of the Race. Brad and Victoria gambled on a quicker flight to Amsterdam in hope they would make a narrow connection to get to Romania faster. But as fate would have it, their Munich to Amsterdam flight was delayed, making the transfer impossible and forcing an overnight layover at AMS. As a result, the geezers never caught up and were eliminated hours after Tammy and Victor checked in. What have we learned from Brad and Victoria? 1. You don't go extremely westbound (MUC to AMS in this case) in an eastbound race, it will cost you in the end. And 2. Narrow connections are gonna burn you in the end because of all the customs BS that you have to go through.

So now we are down to 8. The Asians were my favorite to win it all but now I don't know. We'll see if they regain their composure in #1304.

#1403 Finishing Order:
1. Mel/Mike (trip to Costa Rica)
2. Amanda/Kris
3. Kisha/Jen
4. Margie/Luke
5. Mark/Michael
6. Christie/Jodi
7. Jaime/Cara
8. Tammy/Victor
9. Brad/Victoria (eliminated)

Over the weekend in sports:
Pistons finally get a quality win in Boston. But I think it's too late to save their season, as the NBA's economic contraction has hit the Pistons hard in their quest to bid for 2010 free agents.
Kyle Busch wins in his hometown of Vegas. He's looking to pick up his regular-season form right where he left off last season. Note I said regular-season.
Wings lose 8-nil to the Predators on the same week they defeated San Jose at home. That's not the way you're gonna win the West.
Albert Haynesworth is going to be a Redskin and $100m richer. But Washington will still suck.
Liverpool loses 2-nil away to Middlesbrough. I think we can now just give the crown back to Manchester United where it's going to go for a 3rd straight year.
Speaking of United, they're 40% of the way to total football domination after a penalty kick win in the Carling Cup final over Spurs. The way their defense is playing, who's to say that they won't complete the quintuple?
Nobody cares about who won the Tiger-less WGC final.
Michael Phelps says he'll swim in May in his 1st eligible event. I'm sure they'll put up hash marks to mark where he's supposed to start.

Tomorrow about 8am ET -- TEB's first Raw review, and boy should it contain some fireworks.